According
to a source close to the Clinton campaign, Hillary’s been practicing for
tonight’s debate in a locker room. An
undisclosed Las Vegas high school has been the scene of intense preparation for
the final showdown between Trump and Clinton.
“Hillary
wanted to ascertain if what her opponent calls ‘Locker Room Talk’ is really as
offensive as his lewd remarks on a bus,” a source told us.
Clinton has
spent five days surrounded by sneakers, damp towels and Axe body spray. Twice
her prep was interrupted by some towel snapping and a temper tantrum from the
football team’s mascot.
“Hillary was
outraged when she overheard the soccer coach tell his team that he couldn’t
wait to get home to play with his pussy,” the source confirmed.
It was
discovered that the coach in question had a new Siamese kitten and the team had
bought some cat toys for “Mr. Mittens.”
Campaign
officials hung several suggestive posters in the locker room trying to bait any
unsuspecting males, but only two comments were heard.
“Who’s the
cougar in the pantsuit?” and “I think one of the cafeteria ladies is running
for mayor.”
“Overall, the
locker room talk was not lewd or sexually suggestive,” the source reported. “There
were a few f-bombs heard, but that was Hillary when checking-out WikiLeaks.”
It’s
confirmed that Hillary packed up her duffle bag and is headed to the University
of Nevada.
The source quoted
Hillary saying, “This was a real learning experience. I have helpful knowledge
for tonight’s debate. I learned to use Gold Bond in my Easy Spirits.”
The holding of the official Hillary’s company is quite productive for her. This gives the opportunity to promote her candidacy among the voters.
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