Sparks Ignites

  I don’t like public transportation, public pools, public parks, public forums, public opinion polls— See a trend? Anything involving the general population has never been a favorite. But of all things, the worst are public restrooms.   They’re the scourge of humanity. A porcelain Temple of Doom. Any place where a group of strangers congregates to take care of bodily functions is nightmare adjacent.  From the time I was a child, I feared the boy’s room. At my elementary school, the class took a bathroom break together. We walked single file to the lavatory like a chain gang. The restroom was in the basement of the old schoolhouse. It was a dungeon with plumbing. I guess my life was sheltered. I wasn’t part of any pre-school gang— no Cribs versus the Binkies. No Romper Room rumble. My knowledge of bathrooms was a potty chair.  Urinals were alien to me. I didn’t grow up with The Big Golden Book of Urinals. Taking a wall     whiz was not in my frame of refere...

Palm Beach, FL – As part of the FBI and Dept. of Justice probe into missing classified documents, it was discovered that Mar-a-Lago’s Club Restaurant added box lunches to its menu in 2022. Helena Rubenschmaltz, a club member of Trump’s resort stated, “They were like big Happy Meals that came with a top-secret document.” “I ordered the People’s Republic of Chinese Chicken Salad and received a big white box with a sandwich and classified information about China’s nuclear capabilities,” Rubenschmaltz told investigators. According to waitstaff at the restaurant, they were told to promote the box lunch specials to all patrons. “We were advised to tell the diners to take the complimentary box home with them,” reported Guadalupe Maria Josefina Violeta Smith. FBI agent, Hoover Hammersmyth, said that Trump was trying to move boxes through the resort’s food service. Photos of boxes stored all over the Palm Beach resort were included in the federal indictment released on June 9. “We seized one bo...