Sparks Ignites

Palm Beach, FL – After receiving pressure from donors for using campaign money to fund his legal bills, TRUMP told affiliated PACs he’s saving dollars by using his stock of Depends® to protect his ear. “My Depends® are the best Depends®. They’re specially manufactured in the same location where my beautiful Trump Bibles are printed. They’re the highest quality adult diapers — all made from hand-picked cotton at my plantation – Trump Tara.   No one has ever seen anything like them,” Trump said. He went on to report, “Every pair has the eleventh commandment embossed on the back. Most people don’t know there is an eleventh commandment. But there is and it's’ beautiful. God spoke to me during my witch hunt trial and said ‘Donald, Thou Shall Not Soil Thy Clothes.’    Isn’t that so fantastic. It was like Moses and the burning bush except mine was a spicy burrito in the men’s room.” VP candidate, J.D. Vance, was given his first official task during the campaign. He’s in charge of cutting