SPARKS BRIEF: Category 5 insanity

Washington, DC - Watch out for a series of Category 5 hurricanes headed for battleground states on election day—November 5.This is what Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert have been telling their colleagues in the US House of Representatives.

It seems Greene, a far-right politician, conspiracy theorist and part-time hostess at Cracker Barrel, believes that the federal government is controlling the weather.

“The weather is being manipulated by Biden to stop voting in swing states on election day,” Greene told a reporter from Daily Conspirator.

“All he needs to do is call the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and the space lasers are fired up,” Greene explained. “They can take a squall and turn it into a giant hurricane in a matter of seconds.”

“The Jewish Space Lasers are able to direct the hurricanes wherever the radical liberals want them to go,” said Lauren Boebert U.S. Representative and a cohort of Greene.

Greene and Boebert held a press conference on the steps of the White House this morning to alert all Republicans, in the seven swing states, to take advantage of early voting before they’re hit with Biden’s big storms.

“Biden has contacted powerful Jewish celebrities to prepare their lasers,” Greene said.

According to the Princesses of Xenophobia, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbra Streisand, Larry David and Ben Stiller all have been involved in building the weather controlling equipment.

“Jews have been able to manipulate weather patterns for decades. They started sending secret coded messages about their involvement in songs. “White Christmas”, “Let it Snow”, “Stormy Weather” and all warned of precipitation.” Greene told a Fox reporter. “Anytime Streisand sings “Don’t Rain on my Parade” we have a drought.”

Even though meteorologists, scientists and even fellow Republican Congressmen have told Greene and Boebert that this theory is preposterous and unfounded, they continue their rhetoric.

“We’re going to witness the power of these weather liberals’ when huge hurricanes and tornados hit republican districts in Arizona, and Nevada,” Boebert said.

Experts from AccuWeather have explained to both U.S. Representatives that hurricanes are formed over the ocean, and both Arizona and Nevada are landlocked states.

“When Trump is reelected we’ll unlock the states and give back the water Biden and Harris stole,” said Greene.

“The Democrats have been able to control weather since Mel Brooks put Jews in space in 1981. Just search online,” Greene said during her circus on the capitol steps. Proof Here! “Steven Spielberg has continued to finance the Spacebergs since 2001: The Space Odyssey.”

Greene concluded the press conference by saying, “It is time for the Righteous Right to take back the wind, rain, snow and sleet. When Trump moves into the Oval Office, he’ll send Space Force to take down the lasers. There will be no more climate change. President Trump will protect the USA with the best weather ever—whether we like it or not.”

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